Chapter 9: Unmaking it All
My feet carried me to her side, apprehension filling every part of me as I watched her sapphire hair wave about in a wind coming from somewhere. She was smiling. How could she be smiling in death?
"Roisin, please," I whispered as tears streamed freely, "wake up, dummy. Please."
"So you are the sister," the voice that came from the goddess was a song, a dirge for a lost love. "She called you Delia, correct?"
My mouth opened, but words failed. My knees gave out and collided with the rubble that was once the Violet Cathedral. The blood soaking both their clothes turned my stomach. I felt the goddess's emerald eyes piercing me through the cold-flame she was finally withdrawing.
"You are her, are you not?" The echo of that sound inside my head almost shattered me. "Roisin thought you lost for so long. And then we found your daughter's doll."
I clawed my way to standing and closed the space between us. "Tell me, woman. Where is Dasara? Where is the doll?" The long strands of her silver hair waved in a wall between her eyes and mine.
"She was in a temple. Your temple, Aurelin." When I didn't react to the name – why would I, it wasn't mine – the goddess frowned deeply. "A shame. I had worried you might have lost that part of you. It was one possibility."
A tiny voice worked its way to my ears. "Momma?" Asha couldn't be there. Asha was lost with Davian and Sage during the accident. The nobles had lost control and attacked the carriage driver. Tenebra was driving. They were all gone.
That couldn't be right. I'd been with Tenebra for moons after the accident. She said I was the only one hurt. So why was I convinced everyone was gone?
"Flux?" I knew that voice. Mrs. Reed? No. They told me Iron was in Powell's Square. She couldn't be in Violet's Repose. Then it was Kovar. But she should be working.
I couldn't take my eyes off the silver goddess. No. She was a devil. And she deserved to pay.
My hands were on the weapons Roisin had given me before I recognised her. Brilliant silver sabres that fit my grip perfectly, one carved for the left, and one for the right. A precise match.
I tore through the silver demon, felling her near immediately. I caught Roisin as she fell and lay her gently in the quickly wilting remains of the silverthorn once controlled by the goddess.
Screams went up from every direction. Names of people I had once known and loved. My feet carried me to Tenebra. This was all her fault after all. Both weapons destroyed her like so much dirt. She was holding something that resembled Davian. I don't know what happened to it.
Why was I doing this?
Next I had to remove Nyx. No matter how much I loved her, she was a liability as the foundation of the goddesses. She didn't see it coming. In a blink, she was gone, as were Kovar and Nico. They'd lied to me a hundred times since they found me. They were no better than the rest.
Neither Tal nor Em made an effort to confront me. They were too busy rushing to try to save their wives. They had to go next. In a blink, I didn't even have to touch them. My cold-flame consumed both, turning from its brilliant gold to a tarnished rust as it did.
How was any of this possible? Why did every part of me keep attacking?
Vaelis didn't move. She didn't try to run or hide. She simply let me take her by the throat. She didn't struggle or squirm. She simply stopped breathing and eventually her life left her, just as all the rest.
A world like this didn't deserve to exist. The goddesses who allowed this world to go this way didn't deserve to exist.
I pushed out my cold-flame, now a deepening iron oxide hue, darkening more with each breath. The people nearby shrieked in horror as they burned in my wrath. I couldn't even enjoy my work as Violet's Repose disintegrated at the touch of flames. People had run from the collapse. Now they would relish in it.
It didn't take long before all of Lafleur was set ablaze and the flames were dark as ferrite powder. Good. Let it burn.
At the end. There was nothing left but me. Nothing but the darkness, holding my sister's body tightly.
"I'm so sorry, sister," I cried.
Eventually, even she was gone and I was left. Alone. to be slowly Devoured from within until there was less than nothing. Not even myself.
And in the end, something horrifying happened. It all unravelled and began again.
Omela
"I never thought we'd see this sun, love of mine," Tarant was smiling more broadly than I'd ever seen of him. The man had a captivating smile. I found myself hoping and praying to any power out there that our newborn daughter would inherit that smile. "You did so very well, love of mine, and I am glad it didn't have to be me."
His laugh told me all I needed to know. Tarant was no slouch. He could take near anything. But he wouldn't have wanted that. Even so, I was dreadful glad I got to be the one.
"Well, Omela," the town healer stood and smiled, "you'll be fine from here. If you need anything, send your lug of a husband."
"If I may ask, dearest," Mrs. Reed was stroking the little girl's hair, "what are you and the lug planning to name this bundle of magic? It needs to be something dreadful special for one of your children."
"Children, multiple?" Tarant gulped audibly. "Do we have to have more than one? Most in the Primrose family have only one. No chance for confusion on inheritance."
"Yes, dear," I smiled brightly, "but the Thornleaf family always have two. Always daughters. That one may inherit, and that the other may manage." When he started wringing his hands tightly, I laughed, making our daughter cry just a bit. "I'm mostly kidding, love of mine. If we have another, we have another."
"Good enough for me," he said softly. "So. She's a soft and golden joy, yes? What's a good name for a golden child like her? Aster?"
I gagged a bit at the suggestion. My cousin's name was Aster. We could do better. "Perhaps not, dear. Try once more."
"Could name her after my great-great-great-" he went on for a bit, counting the greats on his fingers, "great-Nan. Eliana Primrose. Oh a good strong name, that."
"Vetoed." Mrs. Reed chimed in. "That's the royal name of the next princess, whether she likes it or not. Naming your baby that would cause ill fortunes."
"How about Delia," I whispered to the little bundle of purity in my arms. She smiled. Laughed even. That was odd for a newborn. "See there, Tarant, she loves it."
"Good. Delia is perfect, just like the name," he agreed.
"I have this one wish for you Delia. That you would grow into yourself and know above all else that you are loved. That even in your darkest moment, there is hope. And in time, you will come to know just how special you are to have your Da as a father."
"And your Ma as a mother, little one."
Roisin
"Da's teaching me to cook, Delia!" I was too excited not to shout. It wasn't the entire truth of course. Da was a busy man after Ma was conscripted. So I was more teaching myself to cook while everyone else was busy with life. "I learnt how to prepare riverfish this morning!"
"Oh did you now, little Roisin?" Delia stopped practising her swords with Mrs. Reed for a moment to smile at my proclamation. I had the best older sister in all of Lafleur. "What are you, six years old? And already a better chef than both our parents combined! I can't wait for you to cook it for me, darling one!"
Mrs. Reed moved in lightning quick and went to stab Delia with a dagger I hadn't seen a moment before, but Delia was quicker. Probably cause she was younger. She had her sabres up for a parry before I could blink. It didn't matter though because Mrs. Reed was a tough old bag.
Delia fell back, spinning, and landed face first in some mud. And still she stood up. She kept going. She always did. That's one of the reasons I loved her so much. She was a hero.
"Well, my little love," she said with a laugh and a broad smile, "I think I need to pay better attention. You get back to Da and tell him to teach you how to manage carrots next. And watch those tiny fingers of yours when you do!"
I turned away, beaming with pride, just as Delia got back to her training. Mrs. Reed always said it was super important for Delia to learn how to fight. She never would say why though.
Since Da wasn't at home, I decided to go for a little walk instead. If Delia had to get stronger, so did I. Being the runt at school was no fun. So instead of walking, I ran. I kept running till it was almost supper time. No one could stop me.
Delia and Da were waiting for me in the kitchen when I got back from my little adventure, sweating and out of breath, and thirsty enough to drink a whole river. This was home, and no one would ever take it away from me.
Eliana
"Tareth, honey," I was whinging again for at least the thousandth time, "can we please please please slow down? I know she's probably already there doing her thing, but do we have to get there this very sun?"
We were on our way into the capital for the final time. Hopefully we'd catch Nyxara up without issue. Tareth was a good man cut from good stock and growing into even finer stuff than I could've imagined when I was throwing rocks at him as a child.
"But El, sweetie," he did his fair share of whinging, but it was all in good fun, "if we don't get there soon, we'll probably miss them. Worse than that, the little guy is tired of being on the road. Babies aren't built for sleeping in tents, you know."
Our son. Born a few months after we returned from the Aerie. He was a sturdy little fellow, almost as big as his father, from what I heard around Greywatch. He would be fine, but Tareth had a habit of over-babying the boy, if that was at all possible.
"Well, if you hadn't insisted we keep the magic of travelling with the weird baker lady alive, then we'd have a proper carriage to sleep in instead of tents." I stuck my tongue out at him. "And that's why you're the one carrying the baby. Because this discomfort is your fault."
We'd travelled all over the place with our little boy. He wasn't really a baby anymore, but we still called him that. He'd been there in Blue Stone when we found some excellent books about herbology that told me more about the sacred flowers. He'd been there for our first trip to the capital when I found out things about the goddesses no one else seemed to remember.
The boy was going to be the most well-learned of his entire paternal line, all because Tareth married a Primrose. And that was my greatest joy. I got to marry Tareth.
But what was so urgent that we had to see Nyxara or at least deliver a message to her and Micah? There was a cycle. A terrifying convergence of tragedies that unmade the world, time and again. And the goddesses, while at the heart of it, weren't responsible. They were simply catalysts.
Millions, if not trillions of times. And it all came back to one woman. Not the Fiend. Not the villain of the story. Someone else. A Primrose to come at some far-flung future. It had happened over and again so many times.
And maybe, just maybe, I could stop it if they knew.
Salora
Roisin was heavy in my arms as my gaze met her sister's. Delia had beautiful eyes, really. She looked just like Aurelin, and my heart cried for her in ways I could barely remember.
All of us had lost to the Fiend a thousand years before. All of us had tried desperately to stop Linna back then. We knew we couldn't fix it. I certainly did. She was where it all started.
In previous cycles, Jasmin had given herself up to me far sooner. She'd let me have more time to plan, more time to look for solutions. This time was different. She'd fallen in love, truly and deeply, with her Mavi. The woman was barely even qualified to fill Afina's belt, let alone her role as Mavi. And yet Jasmin loved her so entirely that she trusted the woman to do the right thing.
Why hadn't she done the right thing?
I froze the world around me for a moment. I needed time to think. I could find a way out of it this cycle. I could. For certain. I had to. Roisin hadn't given herself up for nothing. I would honour that. Jasmin would demand it of my soul.
Delia had the swords we'd been given in Blue Stone. I had expected her to be away from the stables. Every other cycle, Roisin still had them when we went into the palace. Every other cycle I could recall, I pushed her out of the way. What had Jasmin seen that I had not?
A flash of gold caught my attention. Delia had somehow broken through my strength. Her cold-flame flashed through Time itself and found its way to me. How had she done that? Time and Space were mine to control.
I saw her eyes first. Rage. Blood red. She looked almost like Linna. Aurelin and Delia were gone. All that was left was the end.
"Good news, Roisin," I whispered softly to my dearest love, "I'll be with you soon enough."
I couldn't see her moves as the silver sabres passed through the air and took me in a single strike.
Micah
I'd spent hundreds of hours reading every single not that Eliana had left for Nyx in that ratty old journal. I barely grasped the Old Fleurian scratches and strokes. The words were dancing about, showing me truths I'd never imagined.
As I read, I turned the box over in my hand. The onyx and obsidian box Deona had left for me in Amber Sands was an excellent focus as I tried to process the world around us. Everything was wrong.
Cycles of pain. Cycles of continued torture. Cycles of suffering and rage and loss and ending.
If it was true, then we had to carry this message on. To be there for her. To save the woman's heart before everything fell to pieces. She was at the heart of it all. And we were all to blame for not protecting her better.
"Tal, honey," I called across the room we'd used as an office since she and Nyx married, "do you know how to open this box Deona left me?"
"If I knew, I'd have already opened it. She's had it for as long as I can remember. Said it would open when the time was right." Her steps were slow as she crossed the space. "What are you reading there?"
"Notes Eliana left us years ago," I said softly, "though the original crumbled a century past. She wanted us to know about some cycle of death."
"Well, then let's get to studying," she said with a smile, "then I can go cuddle with my wife until dawn."
"You two are the most adorable couple I've ever met."
Tenebra
We didn't make it in time. Delia was already there, staring down Salora in the ruins of the Violet Cathedral. She would break soon. It would all be over.
In a flash, Salora was gone. Roisin was held by Delia, and I felt the chill of her soul giving in to despair. I wasn't fast enough. I should never have left the city. Nyx could have handled getting the family together. But we'd tried that route a thousand times. It had never worked.
She was closing the space to me so fast. I knew there wasn't time. I couldn't even use the shadows to get away. Davian was in my arms slowing me down. Even if he hadn't been, I wasn't ready for her. She had never come for me second before. This was going to hurt. Again.
How did we keep failing her?
How in the us were we supposed to stop this moment?
Asha
Momma looked wrong. I missed her for so long, and she looked different, but it was more than that. I'd never seen Momma angry before. Daddy neither. They were the happiest people in town.
But now, this Momma was scary. She was burning up with angry, and it scared me. I tried to tell her Miss Briarpatch gave me back my Linna dolly, but she didn't listen. She just screeched like Sage used to when he was still tiny.
We were supposed to be a family again. Miss Briarpatch said so. She came to get us and said Momma was okay and that we would be going home soon. She said we'd all come get Momma and that everything would go back to normal.
But when we got here, Momma was hurting. She was angry. And everything was big and messy.
I just wanted her to hug me. I wanted it all to be okay again.
Momma hurt the lady with silver hair. Then she hurt Miss Briarpatch.
Sage squeezed my hand. I tried to tell him it would be okay. I didn't believe it myself anymore. Momma was burning everything.
Linna
First, time stole my husband from me. It left me to raise a son. I didn't know how to raise a boy, let alone any human. But this boy was different. He was half Mavi. He looked like her.
Why hadn't I gone with her when she offered? Was it so much to ask me to be a reasonable person? She loved me. They all said as much. And I made the foolish decision to go with him instead.
Then, a woman stole my son from me. I knew it had to happen eventually, but I was hoping he'd be different. Like Lynae. Lynae never had any interest in all of that. She was devoted to her Lady like a good Mavi would be. I could hope my son would be the same.
And yet he wasn't. He was like me. He loved completely. He fell in love with a woman, and he couldn't be talked out of it. The whole thing reminded me of her again. She said she'd be waiting for me if I ever changed my mind. I couldn't change my mind. Not after everything that happened.
When I thought I'd lost everything, the world found a way to take even more. My friend Lillian vanished one night. She said she'd be gone a minute, and I never saw her again. Not until she saw what I'd done.
I destroyed it all.
My Lady's home was reduced to dust before me. And she wasn't even mad at me. She just looked at me with those sad and lonely eyes. Her hollow voice broke me.
And then she showed up again. The Despairing Truth. I couldn't let her see what I'd become. I disguised myself as my Lady. She saw through it. She knew me better than any in all Lafleur, and she loved me in spite of that.
I couldn't take it. I couldn't accept that she would love what I'd become. What I'd turned myself into. She couldn't love what I used to be and what I now was. That was impossible.
So I did the only thing I could. I consumed her. Devoured her very essence. And I saw the only horror that could've broken me. The only horror that I couldn't possibly understand.
Even as I consumed every part of her, Lysandra loved me. She loved me for the girl I was just as much as she loved the monster I became.
Why?
Delia
There was a knock at the door. I'd been worrying about Roisin again. I didn't hear them arrive, but they arrived just the same. She was supposed to be cooking supper. She was supposed to be watching the children. She was supposed to be there.
"You okay in there, love?" My husband called from the door. "There's people here looking for Roisin. Do we know where she is?"
Of course we didn't. That woman disappeared the moment work let out, only to return at sun down. And yet where was she that sun?
"Where are you, little prawn mouse Roisin?" My words were a whisper I couldn't explain. What was a prawn mouse?
"These folks are from the capital, love," my husband said softly as I joined them. "They have conscription orders."
A hideous snake of a woman. A despicable larabrin of a man. And darkness turned into a woman. She was beautiful. Stunning. And I knew she would keep me safe.
Deona would protect us all.