Epilogue: What It Means to Live
The Reward for Pride
Delia lived a long life, playing the mortal woman, even aging gracefully, until Davian passed on. As did Asha for Aidan. When at last they were left with each other and many times great grandchildren, they resolved to join the others and become who they had waited so long to become.
Immortality as a mortal soul is a fascinating thing. It grants perspective in a way I'd never expected, especially when my lives as Roisin and Nyxara had been cut off in under thirty years. I was able to see Lafleur become what I knew, soul-deep, it was always meant to become.
As I passed into that darkness of death, I knew I'd managed at last to see her happy. Jasmin. Was she mine? Not per se, but Roisin had been me, and they were together. Why did it matter if I wasn't the one to bring it to her.
Except I was. By being Delia and saving Lafleur from myself.
The tears flowed freely, not because I was sad, but because I finally had something to be proud of. It only took six lives, three of which were in Lafleur, but I'd made that world so much better by giving the goddesses a support system.
Did we ever find the next Vaelis? No. But we also didn't find the next Lynae when Mrs. Reed chose to pass into death with her husband. And yet the world kept moving. Four goddesses, four Mavi. Did Lafleur need all five? Probably not. Did Lafleur need goddesses at all? Who was to say.
"See, Rose," my voice from elsewhere echoed through that darkness, "you aren't the sort to give up and give in."
"And I told you I didn't want to hear you again," I said drily. She wouldn't win this.
My voice from elsewhere laughed. "No, what you said was 'if it will make you stop talking, I'll do anything'. Very different thing. I still haven't decided what 'anything' will entail."
"Goddesses around us, but I am insufferable." I stood, or was standing, or came to be standing, as I continued. "This is what happens when your first afterlife is as a troublemaker, isn't it."
"No, this is what happens when your first life is so special." She giggled. "Be seeing you, Rose."
The light of the meadow was soft as I slowly left the shadow of death behind. Phyllo was waiting with something like a smile. I took the moment to really appreciate how she looked.
Not a curvy voluptuous insatiably beautiful unattainable thing, but a woman. She seemed to stand my height, but that was a relative thing, as I observed her as a child, a youth, a woman, an elder, and a venerated being all at once. There wasn't some ethereal glow, but simply vaguely pale skin that seemed to reflect more light than it took in. Or was it darker skin that shined to brightly?
Phyllo was a goddess, sure, but I'd been a goddess or two, and after that she seemed utterly ordinary.
"Welcome back, Rose," she whispered. "How was the vacation?"
"It was Lafleur." My words were flat but kind. "I was Delia."
Her eyes widened. "No. That's not right. You aren't supposed to be Delia from Lafleur. Ever." She looked frantically around the meadow, then back at me. "What happened."
"I saved Lafleur. I found the one path through the impossible, and I made certain everyone took it. Then I saved the soul Vaelis took." I laughed a single cough. "And we all lived happily ever after."
She stared at me for a long time. "I never thought of that," she mumbled. "Rose," she said softly, "how?"
"Every path from this meadow," I said, attempting to mock her voice, not hating the effect, "leads to a world you imagined, Rose. A world you dreamed of so completely that it exists in a very real way." I let the faux-Phyllo voice drop. "So I dreamed of a world where Jasmin and Roisin got to be happy. A world where Nyxara didn't have to live forever in pyrrhic victory. A world where things would be okay. Making every sun count as I counted every sun."
"This changes things, Rose." Phyllo took my hand and walked me to the same spot she'd stood before. "I was supposed to stand here. I was supposed to offer you an ultimatum. You were supposed to unconsciously reject it, only to correct yourself consciously." She sat, pulling me with her. "And you were supposed to return. Here. Ready to face the next leg of your journey."
I sat beside her, and she pulled herself to me. The familiar position of a goddess laying her head in my lap. Delia had experienced that with Tenebra. Phyllo wasn't crying, but it was clear she needed time.
Fortunately for her, I had a billion billion lives to lead in a million million worlds. There was no limit on how long I'd be in the meadow.
We had plenty of time for comfort.